Victory

Someday I hope to have a wife.
Tonight I write for her.

In this day and age there is so much emphasis on sexuality, men find it very difficult to stay strong for their wives. The battle for purity is a battle that all men fight in the physical, and more importantly in the mental realm.

As I long to know the Lord more my heart burns for him and I pursue him further. As I pursue further into his heart and mind, Satan presses in harder against me. When I am weakly pursuing the Lord I am no threat to the Kingdom of darkness and Satan shows little interest in my life. But as a passionate, resolute, loyal warrior of the Lord, I intimidate Satan and his schemes and Satan, out of fear, attacks me more violently. When Satan attacks, he assaults my mind. He lies to me. He tells me that women will satisfy me. I know that’s not true, but sometimes I believe him. I always regret believing his lies. I always regret betraying my father.

Today is a day that Satan has lied to me. He told me that women were what I wanted and that they could satisfy me. Part of me wanted to believe him. Today was a battle.

On days like today, I like to think of my wife. She’s a babe. I haven’t met her yet but I don’t doubt that she’s smokin’ hot. Every adultish person I have ever met has told me from the start, “Wait till you find ‘the one.’” “Don’t have sex until your married.”

I think that’s a good idea. But I want more for my wife. I think she will deserve more. When I meet my wife, I’m going to give her a gift…. ME. I’d like that gift to have value.

This gift that I give her is just for her, no one else, not even myself. Everything that is me will be hers. If I plan to love my wife as much as I imagine right now, I will want to give her the best freakin’ gift available. I want my gift to her to be valuable; because I can only dream of how valuable she will be to me. When I gift-wrap myself for my wife, I don’t want to just give her my virginity, I want to give her more than that because she deserves it. I don’t want to solely be faithful to her in the physical, but I will be faithful to her with my thoughts. I don’t want to be faithful to her after we’ve met; I want to be faithful to her right now. I can’t wait until after I’ve met my wife to start building my gift for her because that won’t be enough time. I will have wasted all of those years I had to build my gift just because I didn’t know whom the gift was for.

If I’m building this gift now, whom can I give it to? Who will protect it for my wife until its ready? Who better than the Lord?

I offer my body as a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to God. That is my gift to my wife.

Tonight, I add one more gift to the gift basket. Satan told me that women could satisfy me right now, that they were my desire. I wanted to believe him. Satan was mistaken though. He underestimated my passion for my future wife and my passion for Christ, my savior. Satan is yet to recognize the power of the name “Jesus.” His knees will bow. He will be put to shame. Tonight, Satan is put to shame.

Tonight I say:

“Despite the grave losses I have suffered in this battle, despite my unbounded weaknesses and my propensity for failure, in spite of the temptation that haunts my mind, in the face of Satan’s smirk and his expectation of my imminent failure, I look to you Lord. Protect my heart in my time of desperation. What’s left of me is all yours. Have your way with me Lord. You are my satisfaction. You are my first love, my treasure.

Victory is mine
Because I am yours.